Category: Humor

Old Fat Donald

Matera the Mad

I started singing this around the house for stress relief, and had to get it down and share it. Feel free to add and alter.
Latest version – Download PDF

Old Fat Donald

A folksong for evil times

Old Fat Donald is a pig. Donald Trump’s a LIE.
In his pen the lawyers feed. Donald Trump’s a LIE.
With a tax-evasion here
And a pussygrab there,
Here a scam,
There a rape
Everywhere a big lie
Old Fat Donald is a pig. Donald Trump’s a LIE.

Old Fat Donald is a pig. Donald Trump’s a LIE.
In the White house he did shit. Donald Trump’s a LIE.
With incitement here
And bullying there
Here a gun
There a riot
Everywhere a big lie
Old Fat Donald is a pig. Donald Trump’s a LIE.

Old Fat Donald is a pig. Donald Trump’s a LIE.
Narcissism is his thing. Donald Trump’s a LIE.
With a gaslight here
And delusions there
Here a brag
There a sneer
Everywhere a big lie
Old Fat Donald is a pig. Donald Trump’s a LIE.

Old Fat Donald is a pig. Donald Trump’s a LIE.
Bribery is legal now. Donald Trump’s a LIE.
With a thousand here
And a million there
Buy the court
Sell us short
Kill the women
Let Earth fry
Guns in school
The bullies rule
Every man a corporate tool
Old Fat Donald is a pig. Donald Trump’s a LIE.
June/July 202

More goodies, almost in my own words!
Apprentice Producer Exposes Trump’s Incompetence, Racism

no shit
The only thing that ever comes out of his mouth

Definitely check out anything Mary Trump, the swine’s niece, has to say about the whole sick family. She knows a psychopath when she sees one.

F1L3Z

Matera the Mad

I am a file hoarder.I have files that were created or downloaded nearly twenty years ago, when I had little drive space and my only option for backup storage was floppies.

Over the years a few have been lost, and some have been permanently deleted because they outlived their usefulness and had no sentimental value. But the collection has steadily grown. Not just photos, music, movies and e-books; I have stashed whole websites, some of which no longer exist on the Web. Reference material, vintage software, clipart, backups of websites that I created, backups of files recovered from other people’s computers (I keep those for at least a year). My writings, fan-fic written by others that I enjoyed reading, half-finished stories, rants, souvenirs of odd occurrences, screenshots of every desktop I ever had, memories of LARTs well done.

It’s interesting to poke around in, and now and then rewarding in unexpected ways. Recently an old Internet friend looked me up. In our email exchange, I mentioned some floppies that she had sent me. She said that the files on them no longer existed on her present computer. I dove straight into my archives, found the files, zipped them up and sent them to her.

Files don’t collect dust. 😉
screenshot - copying files

A Mystery

Matera the Mad

I was sitting at my computer (where else), hopping between Twitter and other things. Music suddenly started playing out of nowhere, loud and clear. I went all WTF and looked for the source. With four workspaces, four browsers and a few other windows open…woof. On my way down through my cyberspace mansion, I closed the GIMP because I was done using it, and I didn’t know if something was hiding behind it.

The music stopped. Instantly.

The only reasonable, non-paranoia-inducing explanation is that it was pure co-inky-dink involving a stray radio signal. But that’s one heck of a co-inky-dink, right on the old mouseclick. Plus, the speakers I’m currently using don’t seem to pick up shight like that. The cheapos I used previously often spoke in tiny, tinny voices.

The browsers were all innocent, all still open.

Kind of like that time I was playimg with Windwoes’ voice recognition, forgot I left it running, watched part of a video, and then found a mysterious message inserted into a text file I’d left open. Only no easy explanation, and no evidence (grr, I likes me some evidence).

Oh well, I don’t think it was Russian music :p

Just In Case

Matera the Mad

…you need something else to call Tronald Gump, here is the list I composed. Some of these may be found elsewhere, but none of them were copied. Not all gems, perhaps, but I wanted a mix of long and short.

Prune Covered In Orange Slime Mold
Decaying Baby-Tooth
Dead Blobfish Dipped In Tang
Thing Moving In A Pile Of Rotting Seaweed
Smelly Sock Found Under A Bed In A Homeless Shelter
Walking Buttworm
Diseased Ho’S Used Tampon
Blazing Juggernaut Of Trivia
Monument To Bad Fuck
Puke Dumpling
Troll Doll Made Of Earwax And Dead Caterpillars
Mass Of Congealed Rancid Lipids
Unfinished Sculpture Of A Turd
Melonball With Bad Hair
Specimen Of Unhealthy Urine
Leprous Tropical Fruit
Horny Banana Slug
Cyanide Pill Disguised As A Kumquat
Babyshit Colored Dingleberry
Overgrown Fetus
Hairy Penis
Slab Of Rancid Pork Belly
Scrofulous Tergiversator
Fear-Biting Soi Dog
Smelly Vaginal Discharge
Oversized Flesh-Eating Bacterium
Yuge Blowfly Larva
Vat Of Putrescent Foreskins
Diseased Puffer Fish
Tiny-Fingered Skankworm
Boil On A Bum’s Arse
Ventriloquist’s Dummy With A Fly In Its Head
Urinal With A Clogged Drain
Imitation Leather Dildo
One-Man Freak Show
Leaky Condom
Highly Overrated Financial Failure
Soiled Codpiece
Insane Parody Of A Demented Ape
Overflowing Toilet
Refugee From Kindergarten
Bale Of Straw With The Face Of A Blobfish
Sow-Humping Sack Of Spoiled Lemons
Poster Child For Mediocrity
Anus-Mouthed Swamp Creature
Rump Of A Naked Chicken
Deserving Target Of Ridicule Since 1946
Overused Diaper
Runaway Honey Wagon
Thing That Fell Out Of A Junkfood Dumpster
Illegitimate Offspring Of A Pardoner And An Ass
Discrepancy In A Virus Scan Report
Comic-Book Villain Wannabe
Talking Sperm Cell
Drooling Idiot Who Can’t Zip His Own Fly
Master Of Gibberish
Party-Crashing Total Bore
Golf-Club With A Dick
Descendant Of Undesirable Immigrants
Nigerian Scam Personified
Spoiled Child With Yuge Entitlement Problems
Half-Ass Attempt At Creating A Sentient Being
Irresponsible Wannabe Penny-Ante Tyrant
Obese Frog In A Puddle Of Piss
Moldy Poundcake
Laxative Overdose
Puppet Of Slimy Rich Pigs
Mass Turd Baiter
Smug Hypocrite With Flaming Depends
Long-Nosed Short-Penised Bullshit Wrangler
Radioactive Citrus Fruit
Stranger To The Truth
Mutant Kumquat In An Expensive Suit
Self-Righteous Ignoramus
Fine Blend Of Pus And Sputum
Significant Source Of Unhealthy Thoughts
Comb Without A Rooster
Ten Gallons Of Low-Grade Sludge In A One-Gallon Pail
Sorry Mook
Yuge Amount Of Artificial Flavor And Color
Elderly Teenager
Tumor With Bad Humor
24-7 Fertilizer Factory
Vast Cloud Of Ignorance
Groper Of Young Models
Misogynistic Misfit With Stinky Fingers
National Disgrace And Embarrassment
Cheese Curd With Evil Intent
Hat Without A Head
Venusian Slime Worm With An Anus On Both Ends
Lost Boomerang

What Would You Call…
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CENSORED

I followed this link from Twitter, enjoyed it immensely, retweeted it, and tried to post it on Facefuck. I was prevented from doing so. FINE! I will share it even more. If you think it is offensive, don’t share it.

3 Dads

I’ve encountered Facecrap’s nannying before, and I will never condone it. Why stop people from posting good things, but allow bullying and bullshit?