Hillbilly Smellogy

Elegy: a mournful poem; a lament for the dead

As in, “Who died and made you spokesperson?”

Hillbilly Elegy is not a poem, mournful or otherwise. It is a lament of sorts, and it is lamentable. Nevertheless, I read it.

As writing goes, I’ve experienced worse. There are far fewer notable grammar and punctuation cringe-points than I might have expected. Word misuse and abuse crop up here and there, but the WTFs are bearably sparse. Reader abuse, however, permeates it. We can’t get no satisfaction. It has been said (by Benvenuto Cellini, bless the old sinner) that no one should attempt an autobiography until they are over forty. This book could be held up as proof.

As a narrative, a life story, it lacks bottom. It rambles and staggers and repeats. Chapter after chapter of Mamaw and the rest of the dysfunctional family – a motley bunch of confusable and mostly forgettable characters lacking in essential detail.

Now and then JD mentions having friends. He seldom names them, and they hardly ever appear “on stage” in any role. We know almost nothing about them. One supposes that people outside his miserable family influenced him, but all we get is scraps. It’s All About JD. His lack of empathy is all over the place.

And then it’s All About How JD Sees The World. A narrow, shallow, oversimplified, overgeneralized world. A large swath of territory rich in cultural variety and heritage painted over with a monochrome brush.

You keep reading, and reading, hoping for a bit of real meat, a little depth, some feeling, food for thought. What you get is something like a ten-course dinner of Girl Scout Cookies.

Read Patrick Stewat’s Making It So – you will come away with vivid memories of people and places and events that will make you want to go back for seconds. Arnold Schwarzenegger, in Be Useful, doesn’t dwell on constant negativity; he inspires the reader to do better and make the world a better place. JD Vance just says oh it’s so awful.

Dolly Parton grew up in a hard place.
“Inspired by her father’s inability to read and write Dolly started her Imagination Library in 1995 for the children within her home county. Today, her program spans five countries and gifts over 2 million free books each month to children around the world.”
– https://dollyparton.com/

What has JD done for “his” people?
Insulted them in a self-serving memoir.
Joined the Billionaires’ Club, so he can help them milk the poor.
Lied. A lot.

I can applaud his honesty in revealing what a horrific family life he had. I can understand how it scarred him. That shit never really goes away. What I can’t understand is why, living in a modern world of communications media and libraries, he couldn’t get his head a little above it (if he’s such a cool person as he thinks he is). I can understand his discomfort among the hoity-toity Yale crowd. But again, he skims over so much potential human interest, dismissing his few supposedly close law school friends with capsule descriptions that are little more than clumps of cliched labels.

WTF, he can talk about family rows that would shame a skunk. Is he ashamed to talk about his friends who helped him get out of that hole? Sorry, but WEIRD.

He should have waited at least another decade or two before playing at memoirs. But I have a feeling that time wouldn’t help.

Wolf Words

The Method Behind The Idiocy
Wolves In Wordy Clothing

Y’all know that Old Fat Donald is widely kbown and critizized for his rambling, incoherent rants.

He has said that he weaves everything together, and that it’s all a wonderful product of his genius mind. While it seems to me more felting than weaving, it becomes obvious when you examine the technique with an open mind, that IT HAS PURPOSE.

An intelligent non-cultist listener will, of course, be baffled, trying to make sense of it in a normal way.

That is part of the purpose.

His cult following, to whom he is speaking, don’t care what he says or how he says it. Their ears are being happily hammered with repeated buzzwords, catchphrases, familiar warm-fuzzyings. What they take away is reinforcement of their beLIEfs.

Meanwhile, the puzzled ones who expect a speaker to make sense are doing just what he wants too! They criticize him. They PICK ON HIM! They reinforce the wahh wahhh martyr image. The cultists lick that up.

Remember, this is a narcissist with many years of experience in manipulating people.

He’s never done a day’s work, has never done anything honest, has never been a great businessman. His books were ghost-written. His whole life has been one long faking-it. He just has the ability to throw other people out on the front line to do the dirty work, and throw them away when it is convenient.

He has a talent for setting people against one another. Dividing them, like a wolf pack cutting their victims from a herd.

no shit

Old Fat Donald

I started singing this around the house for stress relief, and had to get it down and share it. Feel free to add and alter.
Latest version – Download PDF

Old Fat Donald

A folksong for evil times

Old Fat Donald is a pig. Donald Trump’s a LIE.
In his pen the lawyers feed. Donald Trump’s a LIE.
With a tax-evasion here
And a pussygrab there,
Here a scam,
There a rape
Everywhere a big lie
Old Fat Donald is a pig. Donald Trump’s a LIE.

Old Fat Donald is a pig. Donald Trump’s a LIE.
In the White house he did shit. Donald Trump’s a LIE.
With incitement here
And bullying there
Here a gun
There a riot
Everywhere a big lie
Old Fat Donald is a pig. Donald Trump’s a LIE.

Old Fat Donald is a pig. Donald Trump’s a LIE.
Narcissism is his thing. Donald Trump’s a LIE.
With a gaslight here
And delusions there
Here a brag
There a sneer
Everywhere a big lie
Old Fat Donald is a pig. Donald Trump’s a LIE.

Old Fat Donald is a pig. Donald Trump’s a LIE.
Bribery is legal now. Donald Trump’s a LIE.
With a thousand here
And a million there
Buy the court
Sell us short
Kill the women
Let Earth fry
Guns in school
The bullies rule
Every man a corporate tool
Old Fat Donald is a pig. Donald Trump’s a LIE.
June/July 202

More goodies, almost in my own words!
Apprentice Producer Exposes Trump’s Incompetence, Racism

no shit
The only thing that ever comes out of his mouth

Definitely check out anything Mary Trump, the swine’s niece, has to say about the whole sick family. She knows a psychopath when she sees one.

Just In Case

…you need something else to call Tronald Gump, here is the list I composed. Some of these may be found elsewhere, but none of them were copied. Not all gems, perhaps, but I wanted a mix of long and short.

Prune Covered In Orange Slime Mold
Decaying Baby-Tooth
Dead Blobfish Dipped In Tang
Thing Moving In A Pile Of Rotting Seaweed
Smelly Sock Found Under A Bed In A Homeless Shelter
Walking Buttworm
Diseased Ho’S Used Tampon
Blazing Juggernaut Of Trivia
Monument To Bad Fuck
Puke Dumpling
Troll Doll Made Of Earwax And Dead Caterpillars
Mass Of Congealed Rancid Lipids
Unfinished Sculpture Of A Turd
Melonball With Bad Hair
Specimen Of Unhealthy Urine
Leprous Tropical Fruit
Horny Banana Slug
Cyanide Pill Disguised As A Kumquat
Babyshit Colored Dingleberry
Overgrown Fetus
Hairy Penis
Slab Of Rancid Pork Belly
Scrofulous Tergiversator
Fear-Biting Soi Dog
Smelly Vaginal Discharge
Oversized Flesh-Eating Bacterium
Yuge Blowfly Larva
Vat Of Putrescent Foreskins
Diseased Puffer Fish
Tiny-Fingered Skankworm
Boil On A Bum’s Arse
Ventriloquist’s Dummy With A Fly In Its Head
Urinal With A Clogged Drain
Imitation Leather Dildo
One-Man Freak Show
Leaky Condom
Highly Overrated Financial Failure
Soiled Codpiece
Insane Parody Of A Demented Ape
Overflowing Toilet
Refugee From Kindergarten
Bale Of Straw With The Face Of A Blobfish
Sow-Humping Sack Of Spoiled Lemons
Poster Child For Mediocrity
Anus-Mouthed Swamp Creature
Rump Of A Naked Chicken
Deserving Target Of Ridicule Since 1946
Overused Diaper
Runaway Honey Wagon
Thing That Fell Out Of A Junkfood Dumpster
Illegitimate Offspring Of A Pardoner And An Ass
Discrepancy In A Virus Scan Report
Comic-Book Villain Wannabe
Talking Sperm Cell
Drooling Idiot Who Can’t Zip His Own Fly
Master Of Gibberish
Party-Crashing Total Bore
Golf-Club With A Dick
Descendant Of Undesirable Immigrants
Nigerian Scam Personified
Spoiled Child With Yuge Entitlement Problems
Half-Ass Attempt At Creating A Sentient Being
Irresponsible Wannabe Penny-Ante Tyrant
Obese Frog In A Puddle Of Piss
Moldy Poundcake
Laxative Overdose
Puppet Of Slimy Rich Pigs
Mass Turd Baiter
Smug Hypocrite With Flaming Depends
Long-Nosed Short-Penised Bullshit Wrangler
Radioactive Citrus Fruit
Stranger To The Truth
Mutant Kumquat In An Expensive Suit
Self-Righteous Ignoramus
Fine Blend Of Pus And Sputum
Significant Source Of Unhealthy Thoughts
Comb Without A Rooster
Ten Gallons Of Low-Grade Sludge In A One-Gallon Pail
Sorry Mook
Yuge Amount Of Artificial Flavor And Color
Elderly Teenager
Tumor With Bad Humor
24-7 Fertilizer Factory
Vast Cloud Of Ignorance
Groper Of Young Models
Misogynistic Misfit With Stinky Fingers
National Disgrace And Embarrassment
Cheese Curd With Evil Intent
Hat Without A Head
Venusian Slime Worm With An Anus On Both Ends
Lost Boomerang


What Would You Call…
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American Imperialism

I was made aware of Steve McEllistrem’s blog post on militarization, Why Are We Militarizing the World?, on Twitter today. He makes a terribly clear statement on matters we are not supposed to think about.

“Good” Americans who mindlessly repeat the Pledge of Allegiance, who want to Make America “Great” “Again,” who don’t see the narcissistic implications of patriotism, have now pushed us all over the edge of the cliff we built. A billion little bricks of arrogance high, it raises bullying above leadership; glorifies and deifies behavior that creates hatred.

It is said that it takes a real man to admit his mistakes. What about a real nation?

The New Holocaust

Guest post by Hallie Dolin
__________________________

Let me tell you a story. It’s violent and it’s not pretty, but it needs to be told.

My paternal grandmother’s mother was from a family called Sereichik, named after their hometown of Sereija in what is now Lithuania. My dad has a sheaf of documents, full of my grandmother’s meticulous research, attesting to the fact that the town was a center of learning. Sereija boasted one of the best yeshivas (Jewish schools for children, almost always boys) in the area. In fact, my great-grandmother earned her passage to America by writing letters for illiterate people, for which she was paid.

Somewhere around forty years after she left, my great-grandmother’s mother Pesse Baile Sereichik, her two daughters who hadn’t managed to get out of the country, and their husbands and children were rounded up over the course of two days in September 1941. They were taken to the edge of town and, by the testimony of surviving townsfolk, were forced to dig their own graves. They were then lined up at the edge of the pits they had dug and shot so that they fell in. Murder and burial in one convenient step.

This is the family of ONE great-grandparent accounted for – an EIGHTH of my ancestry. Every single one of my ancestors, even my maternal grandmother’s American-born parents and her immigrant grandparents, had family back on the continent they were forced into by the Romans and ghettoized within (which is why I go freaking ballistic if you call me white, by the way). They lived in the Ukraine. Poland. Lithuania. Romania. Russia. A scant train car’s ride away from Stutthof, Kaiserwald, Koldichevo, the six extermination camps of Poland. One in six Jews killed in the Holocaust was killed at Auschwitz, and it’s likely that at least some of my family went there.

I’m telling you this story because the people who shot them were not Nazis. The SS didn’t dirty their hands with backwater towns like Sereija. No, my family’s murderers were their own neighbors. Lithuania was one of the bloodiest countries in terms of Jews murdered by their own countrymen. In fact, about ninety-three percent of Lithuania’s 210,000 Jews were killed. Much of this predated the gas chambers. Imagine the sheer hatred, the sociopathy in the upper echelons that goaded these people to foaming rage and let them shoot hundreds of thousands of their own neighbors between the eyes because of their ANCESTRY. Thousands of mass executions in God knows how many unmarked graves.

That is what I’ve seen in these two days of The Orange One taking office, and in the months preceding it. The short story I wrote back in 2008 that explored my fear of what might happen if MCCAIN won doesn’t seem so far-fetched now. The religious right wants much of the country dead. So does any Angry Calvinist businessman who thinks that people who don’t or can’t conform to a fairly recent model of productivity deserve death by no help at all.

Make no mistake, I am not talking just about Black people, Muslim people, immigrants of all stripes, or same-sex-attracted people like my fiancee and me. I’m talking about Jews. I’m talking about being scared as hell that we’re next.

Nearly every pro-Trump gathering that I’ve seen involves that same rage at Jewish people. There is an armed march being planned, specifically against the Jewish people of Whitefish, Montana. Armed march. Does the term “Kristallnacht” ring a bell?

I’m telling you this because we will be among the first to go. Maybe not by Trump and his cronies, who will turn their heads and focus on people who are “less desirable” than us horrible lizard people (yes, I know all the euphemisms that Nazis use). No, Bannon is going to quietly smile as thousands of our neighbors turn against us and reawaken centuries-old racial and ethnic prejudice – yes, I said racial against US, no matter how well some of us pass – to do what they’ve been longing to do for years.

Look me in the eyes, if you know me. Look at my photo, if you don’t. Somewhere in this country is a human being with the fortitude to face me head-on and put a bullet through my brain. I’d even wager that there is more than one.

Help me. Help others like me. FIGHT HIM.

What’s wrong with our picture?

I didn’t know I was getting newsletter e-mails from Senator Herb Kohl until I had to fix some mail configs and dug into an account I haven’t really used in years. Suddenly there was this nice fresh one. So I read it. I’m still scratching my head at the apparent (to me) insanity. Some kind of megalomania, schizophrenic power-trip; whatever, it disturbs me. It says something terribly discomforting about the USA.

I thought this guy was relatively all right, until I read this:

“…as Chairman of the Senate Judiciary Antitrust Subcommittee, I introduced the bipartisan No Oil Producing and Exporting Cartels Act (NOPEC). It would authorize our government, for the first time, to take action against illegal conduct of the OPEC oil cartel. The NOPEC bill would establish clearly and plainly that when a group of competing oil producers – like the OPEC nations – act together to restrict supply or fix prices, they are violating U.S. law. I recently raised the subject of increased oil prices with Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke at a Senate Banking Committee hearing to gain insight about current efforts to curb rising oil and gas prices. It is time for the U.S. government to fight back against efforts to fix the price of oil and hold OPEC accountable when it acts illegally.”

No matter what we think of them, the OPEC nations are not part of the United States, and are not subject to our laws. So what is the point of waving a provocative red flag of empty threat?

The USA must stop acting as if it owned the world and start cooperating with other nations as peers. That is called growing up. Being a playground bully and whining about the terrorism that it inspires with its careless arrogance (while indulging freely in terrorism) is not building any respect for us. You have to GIVE respect to get it.

I guess this rant should show that I am not just a knee-jerk anti-Republican. :p